Today we examine Senator "Meat-for-Brains" Bottoset's ASUN Bio... It is a doozy.
Ok, let's start off strong:
1. BALD?!
WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?!?! On the fail-o-meter, I'd give this an EPIC FAIL. Let's face it, it is IMPOSSIBLE to be a strong leader when you have no hair. It is a scientific fact that hair-less leaders are 15% worse than those with great hair.
2. CANADIAN?!
WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?!?! He isn't even FROM America? What is this world coming to?! I believe that this proves that Senator Mitch Bottoset is conspiring to destroy the ASUN, and then the world. Oh, he'll act polite to your face, but I am telling you, he is plotting something!
3. The Silence of the Lambs thing is just disturbing. There should be a law against creepazoids like this being able to hold public office. I wonder if he disclosed THIS to his constituents who voted for him!
4. "Use me in any ways you like."
This is a direct quote, mind you. This is BLATANTLY soliciting company from a male prostitute.
Esteemed Senators, I implore you to remove this embarrassment from your ranks. He is tarnishing the ASUN.
And if anyone tries to tell us that this doesn't make sense, expect an angry response. Be scared! Our logic is infallible.
-The Ladies and Gentlemen of Vis Mitchy Est Grex
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You guys are amazing! I would have had no idea about the idiocy plaguing the senate!
ReplyDeleteWe should find a reason to create a really awesome lawsuit against him!
You people are despicable!
ReplyDeleteHow dare you defile my good name! It isn't very nice!
I realize that I take the time to come and read your blog daily. And I realize that you will use ANY kind of insult against me, but it really hurts my feelings. I secretly love you, Stupus (Chris Day).
Seriously man.
Ah satire...
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